Home Is Where Mom Is
We talk with four moms and their families about comfort, tradition, and everything in between.
Mom is all of the things and then some. She’s our confidant, secret keeper, first call, and tradition starter. Mom is the one who never let you leave home without a jacket, always knew you’d bounce back after the breakup, and could say with full confidence that “this too shall pass” — and you believed it.
Easily felt yet complex to explain, we’re reminded of mom’s comfort when we hear her favorite song, get a whiff of a familiar scent, or experience that consistent support that just feels like mom. And over time, the memories, comfort, and traditions begin to take on a whole new meaning as we see those traits within ourselves. Turns out mom really did know best, after all.
To celebrate that supportive, soft and intimate comfort that can only be expressed by the one who always seems to know you best, we sat down with four moms and their little ones (and not so little ones) to talk consistency, comfort, and everything in between.
Eberjey: How do you define the idea of comfort?
Stella: My mom would put my hair in these really cute pigtails every single day. In the pigtails, she would actually use some of the ribbon from fabric that my grandmother had. She would incorporate pieces of other family members into what we wore, and I thought that was really beautiful. Always sticks with me.
Djuna: My mom is Dutch. You know, she comes from that really European background where she’s like, “You make mistakes and learn from them.” Our relationship is very honest. And my husband gets on my case sometimes because we blow up at each other. But once we blow up, it’s done. We just tell each other that we’re frustrated and then it’s over. And then five seconds later, I’m like, “I love you, I appreciate you.” It’s a very typical relationship between mothers and daughters that a lot of men don’t understand.
Elizabeth: She has a really good way of making me feel really comfortable with just about everything. There’s nothing in this world that can be so bad because we have our family, and our family will get us through it.
Porsche: My mom used to own a shoe store. So I remember that I used to hang out there after school, but there was a woman who sold jewelry next door. And she played a lot of George Michael, and I love George Michael. So George Michael is the thing that activates my earliest memory of my mother.
Stella: In my culture, I’m East Indian, the grandparents play such a key role in your upbringing. My grandmother always wore a sari. And anything, whether it came to wiping the boogers off our nose or while we’re eating and we have food all over our face, she’d use that sari for everything.
Mary: Comfort is just being home with them. Knowing they are safe.
Becca: Comfort is mom’s lemon chicken and rice.
Stella: Dal and bhat, it’s the most comforting food to have. It’s everything you need, it’s perfect medicine.
Djuna: I feel like before I had a kid, I didn’t understand that support was the pillar of all important relationships. It’s easy to ask for it, but it’s hard to be specific about exactly what you need. My mom was my doula because I trust my mom. I trust her more than anyone in the world.
Porsche: Showing up every time you say you’re going to show up. I think that’s the thing that allows a child to feel the safest. So that’s the thing that I put most of my energy into.
Victoria: She’s such a strong woman, and she raised eight kids, so I think she was always optimistic that everything would always work out.
Becca: I feel like “life goes on,” she always has that motto. “Everything will be okay.” Oh, I have one more. Comfort is when my mom does my taxes.